I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
