it wasn't lemon gatorade
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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