May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
