when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
