Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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