i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
