ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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