The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
