i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
