tell your sister to shave her snatch
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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