He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
