it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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