Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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