im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
