Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
