Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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