i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
