The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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