who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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