Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
