my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
