You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
