when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize