just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
