C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
