I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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