If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize