Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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