dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
