I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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