just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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