yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
