Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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