I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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