We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Holy shit dude........stairs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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