the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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