I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
