I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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