I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
