Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The air was thick with penises
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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