dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
