I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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