We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
