I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
