apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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