I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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