Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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