What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
