I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
