he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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