I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
