His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize