Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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