The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
